After watching two short clips on Forever Fever - the first having the highly-favoured son announcing on his 21st birthday dinner that he was going for a sex operation; the second portraying the son who was cross-dressed (ie. man in woman's clothes) and facing his father.
It is vital to remember that the son, Leslie, said that he studied Medicine only because he wanted to live up to his parents' expectations and that he actually hated the subject all along. At age 21, he has now made a decision to stop living the kind of life that his family wanted; and it is time for him to be who he really wants to be.
In Singapore, we have to face our family and society's traditional values and judgement. To Leslie, he felt that he could only be the good son that he had always wanted to be by living out his parents' dreams for him to become a doctor. His father, in the second clip, could not even recognise him when his son came home looking for 'Hock' (his elder brother) dressed up like a woman.
Likewise in our Literature story, Father and Son , Andrew was influenced by several factors around him and decided to pursue his dreams. He also cross-dressed like Leslie and even boldly entered the Oriental Queen Competition. His father chased him out of the house like the one in Forever Fever as he claimed that he could not face his friends again. To him, he has lost a son (and thus published an obituary) because (1) his son has literally turned into a female (2) he wanted to forget his son (3) his expectations and hopes of his son had died. However, it is important to note that Andrew did not fulfil his parents' expectations by doing well in school or qualifying for the Medicine School.
Reflection question:If a close family member or relative is Andrew, how would you and your family react?
*Remember to discuss about tradititions and expectations that your family will have and why it is wrong / acceptable to have a member of the family becoming a transvesite.
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31 comments:
I think that i would be VERY shocked at what he has decided to do (the operation) . Because , i might have been very close to him since i was young and we have grew up together and of course , you are used to him being a BOY/GUY . So if he has a sudden decision of changing his gender , i will actually be very disappointed with him and my family will be speechless too .
Normally , me and my family will try to talk him out of it . If he still don't change his mind , we have no choice but to accept his decision because i feel that chasing him out will be a very bad idea as he might get homeless . (:
-ELIZABETH 2e2 .
It will be very shocking.But i would not insult him in anyway and i will surport his decission,because that is his decission to change his gender at his own risk.Maybe,he finds that being a female is better,as being a female,he gets to attract attention more.Females can dress up and do other stuffs which males cannot do.But these are just from my point of view.
My family members might think that he is abnormal or something is wrong with him,and they might insult him and make him feel hurt.Feeling hurt,he might not when to come home anymore,and we would lose a great brother.He might not even want to acknowledge us anymore.
-->by amanda chan (2E2)
I will get very angry about it or maybe I will just ask him to get out of my house. I find it is very disgusting when somebody change his/her own gender to opposite gender. Becuase if you are born to be a boy then be a boy, a girl then be a girl.
But if he really wants to change his gender to female and he does not listen to my advice, I will just ignore him and let him do anything that he like.
Perhaps, he thinks that be a female is better than be a boy. Because female can dress up more than the male do.
-Angeline Lua (2e2)
I would be very astonished and surprised at first but maby after some time i would try to have a talk with him(or her) and try settle things. I would love my family members what ever path they choose. Maby my dad will be a bit upset but i will be fine with the situation. I will still have respect for my family members weather they are a boy or a girl or both. i am aware of the chinese traditions where the boy of a family hold very high expectations and if he was to turn into a femal the family would be devestated. I will still treat him as part of the family and nothing less.no matter what happens i and my family will have to respect the decision.
Ray McCann
Firstly , i don't think its wrong wanting to be a girl , as different people have different thinkings . But my family would object to it as my family would think its very weird for my brother or uncle changed into a girl
I think my family should be more open-minded to situations like that as my brother or uncle would like to live his life this way . Normally people would not change their gender as they don't want go through the trouble of going under operation and they also will know that their family would disapprove them for changing their gender . but they want to live their life this way , hence they made a decision and to change their gender . i would approve my brother or cousin as its they way they want to live their life and they want it this way and they would be happy also .
-- Nicole 2e2 --
I will be shocked when i heard andrew had a sex change.It make me not dare to meet my friend as if thay may heard about it.
Even if he had win prize in miss singapore or universe.It will not make me proud because miss singapore or universe will be live on television.I will not dare to face my neighbour and friend as they know about this.
Andrew is the only man in our family,he must past down our generation.I will be mad and i will act as no this son or it shall be a she.My generation is done.X(
But aleast he still have my blood i must face the true.He no it shall be she had grown up she shall have her own decision.
Wu Zhi Hong 2E2
I would feel angry, as we should appreciate what we have are, even if you hate it there is nothing we can change.
My family might disapprove when he say he wants to change his sex as it is a very ridiculous thing to do eventhough it is acceptable to some people, but not for me.
It would be very embrassing for my family, I would not want any of my family members to change their sex, they should be happy for what they are born with. I can't imagine living with a person who is homosexual. My parents will be very dissapointed with his decision.
Nadirah 2E2
I would be shocked in the first place and i will try and tell my parents about it and maybe we will try to settle down and have a little talk about it.
If he really really wants to change his sex to a female i will try my best to change what he is thinking.If he still refuse to change his thoughts all i can do is wish him all the best.
-jonathan boo wei hao 2e2
I would be very surprised and shock, he is part of my family and my family members did not expect him to be a women.
He wanted to be what he really wanted.We should at least give encouragement to them as its what they wanted.We can't control other peoples life and the way they live.
Though my family would be upset as they want their children to be what they are.But they will have a discussion with their children as this is a important matters.
-Lim Jun Jie 2E2
Actually , i don't think that change sex is wrong , if we were to critisise that person for changing sex it will hurt that person deeply. Everyone has its own decision in life, its up to them if they want to change sex, maybe that will them happy.
But my family will surely object if any of my family were to change sex, they can't accept any transvesite. Some family disapprove when their family member change sex because it will spoil their family reputation towards comnmunity.
As for me its okay to change sex, its not wrong to change gender. I respect their decision if its best for them.But i think its a waste of money and time going through pain during operation, in the end people will look down on you and insult you.It will involved your family too.
--natasha 2e2--
I think my family members would be very shocked especially if the person was a very close relative. We would try to talk him out of his decision as it is very unrealistic to change gender.
It would also bring shame to his family, as other friends will laugh at his family and he would also be humiliated. If he would be a little more realistic, he would realise that girls actually suffer more than guys do. So why bother torturing yourself when you were actually made to enjoy life? ;DD
-KUMI 2e2
I would have been shock when I heard that one of my close realatives had change sex because I do not come across a person who have change sex before.It will be weird when he talks to me with a female body but a man's voice.
I would be ashamed because if someone from my friend or just an outsider gets hold of the information,people would try to avoid me or simply just assualt me with a few harsh words.
I think that the whole family would be abit harsh with him because before he change sex,he was regarded as a smart guy who would probably be having a high pay if he works.So,once they got hold of the information,their expatations went into the drain.
Our family religious is very strict.So,if he changes sex,he gains a sin that is very unbearable to think of.
Azuratasha 2e2
I would disown the family member as there are only men or women in my family.No 'in betweens'.
My family also has very high expectations of males. And a transvesite would be the object of much scorn and prejustice.
We also think it is an honor to be a male or female
Caleb Ling 2e2
It is wrong and unacceptable for my family member or a relative to become a transvesite. It will be a total disgrace and shame to the family. They will kill the expectations and hope that me and my family have for them.Me and my family will have a hard time facing the nieghbours or friends if one of our family member became a transvesite.
I will just disown him as one of my family member and get him out of my life becaue he's been a shame to my family.
yEnaingK.
I will be shocked to see him like that.i would i will just leave him alone and try to give him some encouragement so that he will not fell so down.
if i keep on letting them down he would just simply fell upset and just give up on his life and will suffer depression and may commit scucide.
i should at least understand them as they wishes to be a gay and they always wanted to be.i would just give him some encouragement.
zulkifli 2e2
-IF a close family member or relative is Andrew,my parents would be very disappointed and would feel angry with him.Also would scold him and let him get out from house.They would feel sad because they would lose a family member or relative and lose hopes on him.
-I would feel angry to him and also disappointed. And although I am younger than him I will scold for that action and would not say anything to him. I also would feel sad for him because he lost his whole life because of his action.I would not connect anymore.I cannot accept that action.
Hai Xian:)
We will be very shocked as why my brother wants to be the opposite sex as god made him a man for some special reasons.Like for man,once they are married,they need to support their family.
We will also be very surprised as my mother already borned him and he's the one and only son for my parents.All the hopes my parents have for my brother all this while will be trashed as they want him to be successful like any other man.
My parents may even throw him out of the house and will not know where to live.People may also tease him when they see him outside.Even sometimes when we go out,we will not recognised him.They will also think that my parents did not teach my brother properly and it will affect our family name.
Shafika(2E2)
my family and I would be very shock and surprised after hearing the unbeliveable news about him.my family members would be very worried and disapointed with him because he is going for a sex operation.
He would not be recognise by people in my family members and my relatives.He might be kicked out from the house.
ufairah_2e2
My family and i would be very shock after hearing the unexpected news.My brother had studied medicine all this while and suddenly he wanted to have a sex operation.
My family and i also would be dissapointed with my brother as he had studied medicine for a long time and had been making my parents proud by getting high marks.Now he wanted to live his own life and go for a sex operation.
My family and i would also be worried about my brother that is getting a sex operation.We are afraid that he couldn't make through the operation.
Nur Syahirah Bte Mohd Syafiq (2E2)
I would be very shocked and angry as i had never approved for people to change thier sex,it is a ridiculous thing to do.Especially when you are a male,our parents have high expectaion on them as it is traditions for chinese.
But its their own will and there's nothing we can do to change their mind.As for the parents they will be very dissapointed in them and may also disowned them.They should be happy what they are born to be.
Amanda Tan 2E2
First we will ask what him why he want to be Andrew , then we will advise him not to become like that any more and tell him what a strong expectation we get on him and how hard his parents make him grow up,he must be responsible to us.If he insisted, we can only ask him to leave.
2e2 youhong
I would be shocked as i did not think that he would choose to lead this life..although it is not a wrong thing to do, but his parents had high expectations of him..he should fulfil his parents wishes and not to dissapoint them.
Even though he chose this road but at least he a still a human its still a living thing we should also respect him and not dispise him because of his choices..we should also treat him like normal human beings...what he have we also have like faces, legs, head.
We should encourage him to stand back on their feet and work like normal people and be like normal people..we should respect him and we should not call him names like "Cao Ah Gua" which means Smelly gay as they might get dipressed and might even commit suicide and that will be a loss of a life. We shuold treat them well and respect them and support them.
---->>>Kerry Chan 2E2
I think we will be surprised first.
I'll accept him because it just a decision.He is 21 years old and he can choose his own life.
However ,I don't think my family will think this action is right. They have reared a son for 21 years and they put their all hopes and expections on him,but the boy hurt their heart.He had a sex operation and became a female.It is unacceptable for his parents.And the tradititions makes it more difficult to think it is right.The boy broke his family's expectations also , because the family ,espeacially his father hopeed that he could be a doctor.
I think we should respact the boy's own decision.
(hui xin)
I would be shocked and feel like i've lost a family member because , i've known him as a boy and as he grows up , he turns to a 'lady'.
The tradition is that , when any human being tries to manipulate the other sex is considered as a sin. if i was either of his parents i would react the same as how the father reacted in the story .
Having the sex operation , will also make him have more disadvantages . As some people out there , when they find out thats maybe he is not a real sex of what they expected they mightget in trouble .Example when they get married and they hide the truth from his/her partner , one day , the truth will find out one day . And if his/her partner could not accept it , their marriage may face difficulty .
Therefore , my reaction is that i will be really angry with him . What is done cannot be undane anyway .
SERI ZUR AIN 2E2
I would just accept the fact that Andrew is a woman now.
Eventhough me and my family can't probably accept him 100%, I would still act normal as if there is nothing going on.
My siblings and parents might not accept him anymore as part of their family as they are very strict about this.
I would try my very best to love him just like the old times.
Fatin,2e2
I am not sure on how my family members would react, but i would accept Andrew if he is a transvesite. Though there are traditions to follow, Andrew has an elder brother that can fulfil any expectations or traditions his family members would have for him.
Andrew, wanting to be a transvesite also means that he wants to follow his dream.
Being a parent of Andrew, his father should encourage Andrew to follow to dream or goal instead of discouraging and getting angry at him. A parent should also make sure that his or her child does not regret whatever he or she would choose.
Andrew might have his own reasons for changing his genger to a female. Whatever the reason is, i cannot find anyway to disapprove of Andrew changing his genger.
DilysQuek(2e2)
I will felt sad for our family because how can our family have a transvesite because our family name would be ruined and our relative and friends would mocked at us.
He can gained more respect if he is a boy because in the tradition boys gain more power and respect than the girls.
But we should respect his decision.
Chen hanxiang
My family and I will felt angry at him because when other people know that we have a transvesite in our family, it will effect our tradititions of our family and cause the expectations of my parents to be ruined.We will also lost a family member in our house.
He can be a transvesite himself because everyone in our family will forget him and we will take that there is no one else like him in our family.
2E2 Jeremy Eng
First we will ask what him why he want to be Andrew , then we will advise him not to become like that any more and tell him what a strong expectation we get on him and how hard his parents make him grow up,he must be responsible to us.If he insisted, we can only ask him to leave.
2e2youhong
My family members and i would be very suprised with his decision on his sex operation as he has make my parents proud by getting high marks for studies on medicine.
My family and i would be worried as people may have negative thinking on my family and may look down on us.He also may be kick out of the house and we may not want to recognise him anymore.
Nursyahirah Bte Rosman (2E2)
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